I’m here today to tell you how I found out my husband was cheating on me. I’m going to keep the name of this person anonymous for this story. I’m going to be referring to this person as Richard. So let me set the mood here. I was a teen mom. I had a at the time. She was one a one year old daughter and I was newly married and by newly I mean, literally three weeks ago I had gotten married and I was pregnant with twins, was about five to six months pregnant with twins. I honestly have limited memory of the things happening around me during this time. I got married on two thousand and eleven so I found out that I was being cheated on on december seventh two thousand eleven. So if you do the math, that’s not very long about three weeks of being married from the day that we got married until the day that I found out I was being cheated on, so I don’t have any notes or anything. I’m just going to do this purely based off of what I have in my head december seventh, two thousand and eleven, I have no idea. I still don’t know to this day how long before the day that I found out. That he had cheated on me all I know is what happened that day about a week before I found out he was cheating on me.
The signs of cheating
There were a lot of weird red flags and what I mean by that is. Well, he had always been kind of picky about like you can’t see my phone or you can’t see it right now. Type of things. Sometimes he would leave it out, but sometimes he would be very adamant about keeping it in his pocket when he was at home playing video games. I would watch him like pull it out text or something and put it back away little things like that and girls don’t miss the red flags. This was a good what was that eight years ago? Holy shit, eight years ago. This is back before everybody and their mother had an iphone. I didn’t have an iphone. He didn’t have an iphone and it’s a good thing because apparently the app that I found wouldn’t work on an iphone, it’s really weird the way that it worked out. So I didn’t want to admit it to myself, especially because I had just got married and I was pregnant with twins. I didn’t want I think I was shielding myself from reality by just choosing to pretend like nothing was happening, but it got to a point where. I looked up if there was ways to see who people were texting in the past. I had tried to get a hold of his phone and if I did things would be deleted. So it was that kind of relationship. It’s not like we had a closed phone policy. Like I if I’m remembering correctly, there would be times where he would be like, go through my phone, go ahead, go through my phone. But it was the times when he didn’t say go through my phone that he would like keep it hidden and when I did go through his phone they were deleted.
How I found out
There had to have been a decent amount of red flags for me to actually sit there in google ways to see people’s text messages or something. I can’t remember exactly what I said. But I just literally went into google and it came up this app called or I don’t think it was even an app. It was a website like it was before. I mean, there probably was apps, but it was before like everything in your and its mother was an app. I don’t know if this website still exists, but it was called spy bubble. I was in school full time. I was a teen mom. We had just had a wedding. I was pregnant with twins. I was saving for that. I had a daughter if you were tight on money. So this website claim to be able to read people’s text messages, track who they’re calling, what times is this is all happening every fifteen minutes. It would record like one minute of sound or something. It would take pictures like every five minutes it would just like snap a picture and somehow save it to the website, but not to the phone. It would show the websites that they’re visited. This was probably illegal. It would record the phone calls. It would record the voice messages and it would send it to this app that you paid for. You had to log in and you could see what was happening. I sound like a fucking crazy bitch. But you guys at work till it brings us to the morning of december seventh. I was in school full time. I had to have been either my third or fourth semester in college and I had a child development class that morning prior. Richard would often sleep in in the mornings and I would be up with my daughter, you know, like making her breakfast and doing that whatever and just getting ready to go to school, it had very specific directions of how to put it in and it was so sketchy like so sketchy step one. Get the phone step two. I don’t remember what it was. Honestly, it was so long ago, but you had to click this this this this and this and then you had to download this and then you had to type in this and you had to do this and then you had to delete this. So there was no you couldn’t see it. It was on your phone. You would have no idea that it was on your phone again, this is probably outlawed now at the time it was there. So he was sleeping and he had his phone sitting right next to his face and he was sleeping. Right, but I knew like based off of what he normally does in the morning. There’d probably be a good hour before he woke up. So I set my daughter up like made her breakfast and stuff started under her high chair and I snuck back into our room, snuck back. I walked my ass in my room. I carefully grabbed his phone, I put it in and then you have to restart the phone and then I went and I put it back and he didn’t wake up and I was like. So then the building you have to wait for is for things to happen as soon as you send a text, this website would be tracking things and it would update the website every fifteen minutes. There could be like twenty text messages sent, but you would only see it every fifteen minutes and it would update and you would literally see it would have a phone number and the message and a phone number in the message and then like the times that everything was sent. But again, I knew that something was off and honestly, like. Honestly, if you’re not willing to give up your phone to your significant other, that’s a red flag. I was married to the man. I bought the fucking phone, like I feel like I had every right to put it into his phone if you don’t have anything to freaking high. Then there should be nothing wrong with it, right, so I put this thing in his phone and I got lily up and ready. Eventually he woke up and I said my goodbyes and I had to leave to go to school. I sat down in my class literally within fifteen minutes of getting to my class. Richard was already texting some number that I didn’t know didn’t recognize. I put it in my phone because we had like all the same contacts, you know, so like I put it in my phone to see if I recognize it. I didn’t recognize it at the time. I’m like helpless. There’s nothing I can do at that point within those first fifteen minutes of reading through the text that were being sent. I knew that I was being cheated on. There was something about kissing and something about what are you doing tonight, like that kind of thing. I obviously couldn’t say anything because I didn’t really have any proof. I mean, I had proof I didn’t want to blow my cover right away. I wanted to kind of just like see what happened. I wanted to know the extent of things because I didn’t I didn’t want to jump in it too fast and mind you. I am not a confrontational person, so this terrified me the thought of saying anything to him absolutely terrified me. I could not concentrate in class that day. You guys, I was so devastated. Not only was I fucking emotional because I was hell pregnant. But my whole life was falling apart before my eyes and I knew it and there was nothing that I can do about it. So I let that class go by. I remember we had a break. We had a fifteen minute break and all I did I like brought a snack. I didn’t eat. I just sat there and I was watching him text this other female shit that you shouldn’t be saying when you’re married, I think I had three classes that day. So eventually I had a break. I think it was right after the child development class. I went home.
He doesn’t know that I know
This was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I had to see him face to face and not say anything knowing that I was being cheated on knowing that I didn’t want to blow my cover. I had to go home and talk to him as if nothing was wrong. I don’t think I did a very good job of it. I think he ended up saying, like what’s wrong? What’s wrong? And I think I just blamed it on like morning sickness or something. I was like, I’m just not feeling well and, you know. But really I was so sick to my stomach. It was really funny though, because when you watch the pattern of these texts, when I was home, all of a sudden they stopped and I knew that because I could see the times of everything eventually I left again, I had to go back to school throughout that class was when things really started getting vulgar. It was an english class followed by a math class that I had, so I was sitting in my english class and pretty sure is english. I couldn’t check it a whole lot because some professors are just, you know, you have to like super pay attention more obviously that day my brain was like, not there. I probably shouldn’t have even been in school, but I never never missed school and I just remember after the english class reading all these texts. I specifically remember him saying just as going to be at school for another x amount of time, can you come over and she replies back something like, oh my mom says, I need to vacuum three more rooms and do this and that I don’t know if I’m going to make it in time. So when I saw that text that I’m not, I don’t think I’m going to make it in time. I texted one of my best friends, courtney, she was made of honor in my wedding and I told her what was going on and we were at the same college. She was not in my husband. She was in another class and our break was at the same time and so we met up at that time and I like showed her and explained to her what was going on and I was like, look. I need a fucking catch from doing it because he was the kind of person where if you don’t have cold, hard evidence. He’s so manipulative he can talk his way out of anything so convincing. I just knew that if I didn’t catch him in the act, he would deny it to his grave that that didn’t happen and it would be my word against his word and that would be the end of it. I knew that I had to catch him in order for anybody to believe me because he was so charming and manipulative. So I explained her what was going on. I showed her the text that were going back and forth at the time. I still didn’t. Who it was that he was texting because I didn’t have her number or anything. So my little shady ass texted him and I said, hey, I really miss courtney. It’s been so long. You know things have been crazy since we got married. I think I’m just going to go hang out at her house tonight and catch up. Of course he was like. Okay, babe, I’m going to miss you so much, but go ahead, lo and behold the next text message sent was she’s going to be gone for the night. Come over surprise, surprise, right, so I remember going to my next class. I still had another class I was checking. I have always been really good at math. Like I’ve always had straight days in math. I’ve always been I don’t know, maple’s always been really easy. So it was really easy class for me and I sat there and did my work being a good girl and I was watching the text every fifteen minutes update back and forth and it was so you guys, this is how bad it was. Richard would send me a text saying I love you so much. I’m gonna miss you or I do miss you and the next text message sent was when you coming over to this other girl, I miss your touch. I can’t wait to do this that and whatever stuff that is not youtube friendly, literally one after the other. It got to a point where she said, okay, I’m on my way. I’ll be there in x amount of minutes I looked at the time that it was I looked at the time that was sent and I was. I need to leave now if I want to do this. If I really want to do this. Which I don’t get me wrong, I was so scared. I was so scared because like I said, I am not a confrontational person. I don’t like conflict as much as I was so angry and hurt and like I had so many motions going on. I I was so scared, so I texted courtney and I was like, it’s go time. Do you want to come like she was in her own class too, but I had to leave my class early in order to get there at the right time and she was like, bitch. Let’s go, we met up together. I believe we took her car because if I took my car and pulled up. I was afraid that he was going to see it because it was a very small apartment complex where I live was very close to where the school was. So we quickly made it there and I like, sat there for a minute and I was like, what am I going to do, like what what am I actually going to say, I just know that I need to do to do this. I got my keys knowing that the door was probably going to be lost. We lived on the second store of this apartment complex. The stairs were so frick and creaky like my pregnant has had the tiptoe up those stairs very quiet. To the top of the series and that door was really allowed to get it. And so once I got to that door, I was we just have to go in and do it fast. So I got up to the top of the stairs. Courtney stayed in the car.
I caught him!
I took a deep breath. And I did the damn thing. I opened the door and the first thing that I see the way that our house was set up was that if you looked straight to the left with our master bedroom and then like right there with the kitchens, right when I opened the door, like I said, it was super loud. I opened the door and the first thing that I see is him right there. He literally turning the corner from the master bedroom. His pants were down. I think his boxers were back on at that point, but his pants were down at his ankle and he was pulling them up like right when he saw me, he was pulling them up in his face. I will never forget. It looks like a dear headlights, so he quick quickly buttons his pants and I was like, what are you doing, and the first thing that he says to me is. Oh, um this is my cousin. You met her. His cousin. He was lying. It was his cousin by marriage, so there’s that, but his cousin was in my house. She attended our wedding. I don’t feel like I need to say anything else in terms of that at that moment I said. I know who the fuck you are. Get out of my house and that bitch got up so quick and ram, she like, didn’t say shit. She just like left. She walked out so quick and he was like, what do you do, he like. Tried to play it off. What are you doing here? Like why are you being weird? Like what’s going on because she was dressed and her hair was wet. So I’m guessing it was in the shower. I don’t know for sure, but her hair was wet, so she laughed like they already done her work. There was done, so she laughed and he tried to play it off. Like, oh, what are you doing? I thought you were really on your friend’s house, like what happened. And I said, I know what you did and he was like, what are you talking about. You don’t know anything like, what do you know, I think I walked away because I didn’t know, like, there’s so much, you know, how you could wish you could go back to a conversation and say so much more than you said, like, oh, there’s so much that he could have and should have said that I did it and I just. You know how you replay scenes in your mind again and again and again, I wish I could go back to that day. Sometimes. I mean, it’s not that important to me now. Now it’s just a funny story, but for a long time there I replayed that scene again and again and what I should have said and what I could have done. But I said nothing. I said, get out and then I walked into my bedroom and I remember I leaned up against the dresser and I just started crying because I didn’t know what else to do at that point and he was like. What are you doing, you’re being crazy. Like stop, come on. What are you doing, and I just said. I know what you did. I saw the text messages and he’s like, what are you talking about, he just kept playing it off as if nothing happened. So that’s when I threw out details and so I was talking about like I knew that he was going to do this. And so I said, I know this is the only thing that I could remember saying at the time. I was like, I know how she had a vacuum. This this in this room before she had to come over. I noticed that and then it was very specific things. And when I said that all he did all he did was look at me. He had nothing to say and he took off his ring and he handed it to me and he left and that was the end and I didn’t speak to him again for three months until right before the twins were born being cheated on is one thing, but being cheated on when you’re carrying that person’s children, like. You know, it’s not even like we have kids together, like I’m literally pregnant with the kids with twins. It was rough. It was probably one of the lowest points in my entire life emotionally, the. My whole amazing support system that I had came to the apartment and helped me move my entire apartment out and I left him all the furniture I moved back in with my mom, so. That’s the thesis. That’s how I found out that my ex husband was cheating on me with his cousin, un fact. We eventually got back together.