Does anyone know how to forgive cheating partner? My desire is that you will find hope, direction, practical answers and spiritual insight into how to deal with and live with a man addicted to sexual sin. I think a big question that wives have, especially when they. First, find out that their husband is into something like this is how do I move forward? What do I do, and I’ve seen a lot of questions online. Should I forgive him, is what would you say. Yes, always. Why why do you say always. Because forgiveness does not mean acting like nothing happened and I think that’s what a lot of women think that forgiveness means a lot of the fears that come up when confronted with the issue of forgiveness is if I forgive him.
Is ignoring forgiveness?
Then that means that I’m going to act like nothing happened and he’s just going to keep doing this and I’m I’m not giving him a free pass. It’s almost like the idea of forgiveness is ignoring, for example. Staying in in an abusive relationship, a physically abusive relationship or where someone has just continually. Falling into sin and giving over to sin. It doesn’t mean you just you know turn a turn a blind eye and move on. That’s not what forgiveness is and that’s not what I’m saying. There are situations for sure where separation is necessary. There are situations where your children are being deeply affected by the sins of their father and that needs to be addressed. There are situations where. You need to take action, get your pastor involved or another counsel or some situation. I mean, if there are. Really bad things going on in your home. They need to be addressed.
Healing after cheating
So I don’t want to give the impression that you just yeah, I just hang in there. Things will get better. You know, I don’t mean that and I don’t mean to imply that forgiveness is easy. It’s not easy, but it again, it is something you do in your heart from the heart, but you still have to deal with stuff. The best example I can give you of that is jesus. And what he did for us and every believer, every true believer. Has to face this issue. Whether it’s a spouse or a child or whoever may have offended you what jesus did for us is that’s the bar. That is the standard and he forgave completely and utterly and totally his enemies. He did not he did not withhold forgiveness. And forgiveness was and is the like the crux of the christian life, it’s just something that has to be there. And but I think for women who have been hurt by their husbands betrayed by their husbands is a better way to say it. They they’re confused about it. They’re hurt, they’re broken. They’re devastated. The covenant has been torn, so.
What is forgiveness?
All of that that they’re going through to act like that didn’t happen is unthinkable and practically impossible, but forgiveness. That isn’t what forgiveness means. What does it mean, it means that you are going to not turn his sins against him, you are not going to punish him for what he’s done. You’re going to let him go free in your heart. It’s something that you do. It’s ongoing. There is no end to the forgiveness. No strings free freely you’ve received freely give well, that is not normal human behavior. That’s divine. That is a gift from god that is the presence of jesus christ living and dwelling inside. That’s the only way it’s possible to forgive this way. It’s not possible. It is not humanly possible to forgive somebody who has done this to you. It’s not possible in the flesh. So you did forgive steve before he truly changed. Yeah. Yeah, and I give god all the glory and all the credit for it because in my flesh. What I do when I’m hurt betrayed, I run off with another man. That was my response. That’s what I did. I left steve. I ran off with another man I’ve done. You know, before that when things got too hard I would drink or I would smoke or I would I would go back to my fleshly things that I would do. That’s that was my way to deal with, um the pain. When I surrendered. The power to forgive was very present. I didn’t have to struggle with it. Yes, it hurt. There’s a difference between being hurt. And going through the loss. And the rejection. Those are normal. That doesn’t mean that you haven’t forgiven because you feel those feelings. That’s not a lack of forgiveness. That is just man. Pain. But forgiveness is something you do in your heart. It’s from the lord. It’s a holy spirit. Thing that happens in you that you let that guy go free even though he hasn’t repented fully. He may never repent. Does that mean you never forgive. This is much more than just a mechanical christian thing to do a deed. This is the christian life and what I mean by christian life, I mean, jesus living in you his life through you. That is what I’m talking about and that’s what makes it possible. My unwillingness to let him go free isn’t doing anything to him. Other than the wall is being built higher and higher in the relationship, making it even more hard to reconcile and get past stuff. My unwillingness creates that wall too.